


Reunion

by theanonauthorfanfic



Series: REUNION [1]
Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America - All Media Types, Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Steve Rogers - Fandom, winter solider - Fandom
Genre: AU, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Marvel - Freeform, Sebastian Stan - Freeform, chris evans - Freeform, steve rogers - Freeform, winter solider - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 07:27:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17320610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theanonauthorfanfic/pseuds/theanonauthorfanfic
Summary: Bucky and Steve have been torn apart and 14 years later they reunite.





	1. CHAPTER 1

Steve and Bucky had grown up together. They went to elementary school together, then started to transition into middle school and that is when Bucky’s parents got a divorce. Bucky was forced to move but he continued to write to Steve as much as he could. Eventually he stopped getting responses back so he stopped writing. It had been 10 years since Bucky had heard from Steve. Bucky had just graduated from MIT with his Bachelors in Engineering after his accident. He had felt so accomplished even though he graduated college 4 years later than he should have but he needed to heal first before he could have completed what he was passionate about.

Bucky had thought a lot about the night of his accident. It was something that was plaguing his nightmares still even though it was 4 years earlier. He was riding his Harley Street 750. He had gotten it from his deadbeat dad as a graduation gift from high school after he hadn’t had any contact with George for like 3 years. The bike Bucky had named Dot was his priced possession. Bucky drove her everywhere. When it was raining, he was extra careful with her. He was living in Massachusetts with his mom and sister easier to ride around the streets. The snow made it hard, he usually just used the T.

Well, that faithful night he had Dot for almost 6 months. It had been raining pretty heavily his mom warned him about driving when the temperature was dropping like that Bucky didn’t listen. He had done it so many times before. He didn’t think anything was going to happen to him. He was driving on Memorial Drive in Cambridge when he hit the black ice. Dot skidded and he couldn’t stop her. He swerved to try to regain control he was hit at 50 mph by a pickup truck whose drive was falling asleep at the wheel. Bucky woke a week later in ICU at Mass General Hospital with his mom and sister sitting around his bed.

Bucky tried to speak but nothing was coming out. His mom grabbed his hand and shushed him.

“James, you are okay. Calm down you are in the hospital. Are you thirsty,” his mom asked lovingly? Bucky nodded squeezing her hand. His mom motions to Becca to get him some water. When Becca came back his mom helped him drink some water. His throat felt so sore and like he had swallowed glass. “Jamie, you were in a really bad accident. A pickup truck hit you. Your left arm was destroyed Jamie. They had to cut it off otherwise you would have died,” his mom continued. Bucky didn’t know what was going on. He was starting to get overwhelmed.

Bucky shook his head to stop remembering the accident. Bucky was happy he had both of his arms back. Bucky had moved back to New York City Soho specifically since he now has a job at Stark Enterprises as on of the engineers. Tony Stark who never does interviews had interviewed him because of his prosthetic since it was something Stark had created for him. Bucky found that out after he got the job when Tony made a comment on how it was difficult for him to make sure the arm was light enough that Bucky didn’t walk with a limp on his left side. He laughed at Tony and just shook his head. Bucky had been working for Stark Enterprises for almost a year now.

“Hey Barnes, do you want some shawarma,” Tony asked while coming into the lab.

“I probably should eat. Shawarma sounds good,” Bucky responded to Tony.

“Jarvis can you order our regular orders from the shawarma place down the street,” Tony spoke to the ceiling.

“Will do, Mr. Stark,” Jarvis stated plainly. “It should be here in 45 minutes. It seems they are busy today.”

Bucky and Tony both ate in the lab talking about the new project Bucky was working on. It had to do with making sure kids that have lost a limb can get affordable, light weight, stable, and intelligent prosthetics. Bucky had a special place because of his arm which is why Tony tasked him with the job. Bucky had the prototype worked out. He just needed to get it into manufacturing to be able to get it out to the public.

“Barnes, I want you to work with our marketing department. Actually, I think you and the head marketing artist will work great together. He has worked here for 6 years now. His work is amazing. He usually does all the campaigns I run. You have seen his work. I know he will be able to help you market these beauties to get the kids excited to be able to have their limb back,” Tony ranted. Bucky just nodded. “I need you to be more vocal, you know. Shy and awkward was cute now its boring. You need a new thing buttercup.” Bucky rolled his eyes at Tony.

“Tony, I can be vocal. You do enough talk for both of us. Yes, I will work with head artist in your marketing department. Jesus, man lay off the coffee or the alcohol which ever is worse,” Bucky turned around getting back to work.

“No, work-y. I need you to meet Steven. He is another shy and awkward type like you. You both should be perfect for each other. Plus, I hear he is single,” Tony spoke confidently.

Bucky’s jaw dropped. “Are you trying to set me up to date him? I can find someone myself.”

Tony laughed, “Tall, dark and brooding doesn’t work for you Buckaroo. You haven’t dated anyone since your accident. Plus, its quid pro quo.” Tony smiled wide and wiggled his eyebrows. Bucky wanted to punch him in the face right now. “Go, scoot, skedaddle off to meet Steven.” Tony pushed him out of the lab. Bucky walked to the elevator and then headed to the floor marketing is on.

When Bucky arrived on the marketing floor. He looked at the front desk.

“Are you looking for someone sir,” the redhead asked politely.

“Yes, someone named Steven. He supposed to be the head artist,” Bucky replied.

“Of course, Mr. Barnes. Mr. Stark said you would be up. Just a heads-up Mr. Rogers doesn’t know you are going to be meeting with him. Mr. Stark wanted to surprise him, I guess. My name is Wanda if you need anything Mr. Barnes,” Wanda showed him Steve’s office. “Mr. Rogers will be back in a few minutes. Just wait inside his office Mr. Barnes. Have a great day. If you need anything Just holler.” Wanda had walked off. Bucky slowly walked into the office staring at how neat it was for an artist. He was lost in thought about who this Steven Rogers is. He was thinking about the punk he grew up with name Steve Rogers.

Bucky jumped when a hand landed on his right shoulder. His heart started racing and his breathing became ragged.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Steve the head artist in marketing here and you are,” Steve asked apologetically.

“I’m James, but you can call me Bucky. James is too common of a name. No need to apologize. I was lost in my head while I was waiting for you. Tony sent me to work with you on art work for the prosthetics I have been working on for kids who have lost a limb,” Bucky mentioned as calmly as he could. Steve cocked his head to the side and stared for a minute. “Steve are you okay? You don’t look to good, why don’t you sit down big guy.” Bucky grabbed his arm helping him into his chair.

“You look familiar. Do we know each other or at least we knew each other? I recognize your name,” Steve mumbled.

“I grew up in Brooklyn until my parent divorced then my mom moved me and my sister to Massachusetts. I had a best friend name Steve Rogers. He was this little punk that never knew when to back down. I haven’t spoken to him in years. After I moved away, we wrote for a while and then the letters stopped all of a sudden,” Bucky entertained Steve. Steve placed his head in his hands.

“I stopped writing because my ma died Buck. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to just disappear like that. I was just going through a lot. I was taking care of her while she went through her chemo treatments and then she just died in her sleep one night. I shut everyone out. It was about a year later when I hit my growth spurt and grew out of my asthma. I am sorry Buck,” Steve sniffled refusing to look at Bucky.

“You are not the same Steve Rogers. You can’t be. Steve was a little shit and never backed down from a fight. He would be covered in bruises and cuts. My Stevie would be all piss and vinegar. You can’t be the same person,” Bucky immediately answered shaking his head. He was going to kill Tony. He told Tony he was in love with his Stevie doll and how when he had graduated high school he was going to try and find him before his accident happened. He wanted to make sure Steve knew he loved him. Bucky swallowed hard staring at the blonde Adonis in front of him.

Steve slowly looked up at him while reaching a picture frame on his desk. “This picture was from my 10th birthday when my ma and your ma took us to Coney Island. We spent the day on the rides. You made me go on the Cyclone and I threw up,” he handed the photo over to Bucky. Bucky grabbed the photo staring at it. He almost dropped it in shock. He remembered that day. They spent the night on the beach watching the fireworks. He told Steve that the fireworks were for his birthday and not the 4th of July. Steve’s birthday was more important that night.

“Shit, you grew up. I missed you Stevie. That night of your 10th birthday those fireworks weren’t for the 4th of July to celebrate the country it was to celebrate the best guy ever birthday. I am sorry about Sarah. She was an amazing woman and loved you very much. I wish I had known I would have come to help you or been to the funeral. Stevie you were my best friend. It hurt so much when you stopped writing,” Bucky admitted to Steve which he hasn’t done in years. He handed the photo back to Steve. He was going to get the chance to tell him he loved him. He didn’t want to say it yet. He didn’t know this Stevie. Bucky didn’t know if Steve was even gay or bi.

“You’re thinking to hard jerk,” Steve smiled.

“Shut up punk. Tony mentioned you were single. I am sorry I just don’t know you anymore. I want to get to know you again,” Bucky shyly said.

“I am single. I was dating a woman for a while name Peggy Carter. She was nice but I always felt there was something missing. I called it off. I have been single since. How about you Buck,” Steve asked.

“I am single I have been since my accident. I lost my arm right after high school due to a motorcycle accident. I also haven’t found anyone who wanted to be with a shy, awkward insecure guy,” Bucky shrugged.

“I am sure you will find someone Buck. Shit, I would have known you had almost died if I kept in touch. I feel like an asshole. You were my best friend and I abandoned you,” Steve tapped his fingers against his desk blaming himself for losing touch with Bucky years ago.

“Steve you were going through a lot of shit. I understand why we lost touch now. I don’t blame you. Don’t blame yourself,” Bucky moved gripped Steve’s shoulder. Steve looked up worried at Bucky.

“I am going to beat myself up because I would have been by your side while you healed Buck. I would have been able to help you through the physical therapy, therapy in general,” Steve lowered his head avoiding looking into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky felt like he should have just talked about work things and that’s it. He felt like shit since Steve was blaming himself for what happened to Bucky.

“I am going to go Steve. I am sorry I brought all this up. I will send an email on what I want the ads to look like and then have you design them. I am being unprofessional,” Bucky turned and started to walk out of Steve’s office. Steve jumped out of his chair and grab Bucky’s wrist. Bucky stopped as his breath hitched.

“Don’t go. I am being unprofessional. Tony knew that we both were going to react the way we did. That is why he cleared our schedules the rest of the day. Let’s get make the best of it,” Steve squeezed Bucky’s wrist tighter. Bucky looked at Steve’s hand and smiled to himself. He felt like nothing had changed but everything had since they last saw each other. They both were different people. Bucky looked at Steve’s face and nodded following him back to the couch in the office. They talked for a few hours.

Bucky had headed home all he could think about was Steve. He thought he had moved on from the feelings he had for Steve from when they were kids. He realized when he was alone in his apartment, he hadn’t moved on just buried the feelings down deep inside of him. Bucky stripped out of his suit and laid down on his bed in his boxer briefs.

He palmed himself through his underwear. He was getting hard thinking about Steve’s hand on him. He wanted to feel Steve’s breath against his skin. Bucky whimpered as he closed his eye imagining Steve was there with him. He slowly pulled off his boxer briefs and his cock bobbed free. Half hard he reached out with his right hand lightly feeling his collarbone then tracing his finger tips down his chest. When he reached his nipple, he licked his thumb as he started to play with it. He was moaning to the sensation that he saw Steve in his head licking and sucking on his nipples. Slowly his fingers trailed down his tight abs teasing his happy trail before grabbing his cock. He jumped at the sensation. He hasn’t had himself this worked up in years since the accident. Bucky stroked his shaft slowly picturing Steve’s hand stroking him. Bucky teased his head playing with the glans. “Yeah, that feels good. Just like that Stevie,” Bucky moaned as he picked up the pace keeping his eyes shut as he pumped his heavy, hot, throbbing hard cock. His hips started to thrust into his hand on their own accord at the pleasure that was running through his veins. Bucky can see Steve staring into his eyes as he strokes Bucky to cum. Bucky’s hand works faster thumb catching the slit squeezing as he arches back into the mattress. “Don’t stop Stevie. Play with my head more. I am close,” Bucky whimpers as his hand starts to tease the cap before he circles his fingers around it stroking and slightly squeezing. Bucky moans loudly, biting back a scream by biting his bottom lip hard. “I’m gonna cum for you Stevie. Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Bucky’s body tenses as his had strokes his cum out of his cock. Spurts hit his stomach some of them reach his chest, he shivers as he comes down from his orgasm.

Bucky leans over to his nightstand grabbing some wet wipes cleaning himself up. He knew from that moment he was fucked. He needed to get back to being Steve’s friend if nothing else. Bucky needed Steve back in his life. He didn’t realize how much he needed him until then. Bucky turned on his side pulling the sheet up to his chin as he passes out in a blissful post orgasm state. Bucky was utterly in love with Steve.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are both not the brightest when it comes to each other

Bucky woke the next day and felt less stressed than he had been. He still had that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him Steve didn’t want him around. Bucky scrubbed his hands down his face. Fuck he was going to be on edge all day with the anxiety that he had developed after his accident. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his anxiety medication downing 2 pills hoping that would take the edge off. Bucky showered and got ready to go to work.

We got to his lab and took off his coat before sitting at his desk and go over his emails. Tony burst through the door as soon as Bucky sat down.

“Hey Buckaroo, how did the meeting with Stevie go yesterday,” Tony sang?

Bucky mumbled, “It went okay. I didn’t realize you knew we had known each other years ago.”

“Come on, Buckaroo you know I know more about you than you know,” Tony proceeded to sit on Bucky’s desk.

“Why do you always sit on my desk Tony? There are chairs in front of the desk. Its not like Steve is going to take to me other than a friend,” Bucky got up from his chair to sit in front of his desk.

Tony looked sideways at Bucky, “Are you doing good today Barnes? If you are not you can take the day. I am sure Steve will understand if you don’t get back to his emails about the campaigns today. I want you to be doing well James. I don’t want you back in a bad place.” Tony sounded concerned and the confused Bucky. He never thought Tony cared about him like anything other than an employee.

Bucky looked away from Tony, “I had a rough morning mentally. Seeing Steve yesterday brought up what I was like before the accident and it caused my anxiety get amped back up today. I should be fine if I stay saturated in work. It keeps my head from getting to dark again. I don’t want to slip back into being suicidal again.” Bucky shook his head resting his head in his hands closing his eyes. Tony jumped down from the desk and sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder looking very concerned.

“You need someone to talk to. You don’t have a lot of friends James. I know you work a lot and then go home and don’t really do anything other than that. You may spend some time on Netflix or Tumblr. That is not socializing. You don’t have anyone who you can confide in maybe talk through your anxiety that has anxiety too.” Bucky looked at Tony. “Jamie, sweet Jamie I care about you. I am not just your boss but your friend. I was kidnapped and held hostage. You know I suffer from PTSD and anxiety because of it. I know for me I decided to drink more when I came back and become reckless. I was trying to kill myself without knowing it I was self-medicating to stop the pain. I wanted it to end.” Tony stopped talking and grabbed Bucky’s hand. “If you need anything please let me know. I don’t want you to suffer in silence Jamie. You are such a sweet man you deserve to be happy. You have come such a long way since the accident. I am proud of you.”

Bucky started to cry. He didn’t realize how much had been built up inside about how he felt useless since the accident. He had accomplished a lot but that anxiety part of him would always make him beat the shit out of himself mentally. Tony pulled Bucky to the floor and into him. Tony hugged him tightly as he sobbed. Bucky felt bad because he was soaking Tony’s shirt with his tears. He didn’t know how long they stay like this. No one had come to bother them which only meant that Tony told Jarvis to keep everyone away from this floor or room at least. Bucky finally pulled away after he was all cried out.

“You feel better Jamie,” Tony asked. Bucky nodded unsure of being able to talk since he didn’t know if he would start sobbing again. “What about seeing Steve got you this wound up? I thought this was going to be a good thing for both of you since you had history. Plus, he is looking for a long-term relationship with someone he can settle down with. I thought it would be perfect for you both since I notice how he smiled at your picture Jamie.”

Bucky sighed, “You can’t say anything to Steve. I think I am in love with him. I mean I have been in love with him since we were kids. I was so damn scared to tell him because I didn’t want him to stop being my friend. Then I had to move away so we promised to write each other and when that stopped, I was going to surprise him after I graduated high school. I had planned to move back to New York, go to NYU and then I was going to show up at his mom’s place asking him if I can take him out to dinner. At that dinner I was going to tell him that I was in love with him. But that never happened. Instead I go into the accident and almost died. It took me forever to recover and then go to college. I met you when I was at MIT instead of NYU. Then you promised me you would hire me as soon as I graduated and I moved back to New York working for you. Then I find out Steve works for your art department. Fuck he is the head art director for Christ sakes. I knew I wanted him back in my life even if it was just as a friend. I honestly don’t think Steve can love me more than a friend Tony and that’s okay. I will be in his life but I will be happy for him no matter who he is with. I gave up on being happy a long time ago. I just want to be content Tony.” Tony was pondering what Bucky had just said.

“Jamie, I promise I will not say anything to Steve but he deserves to know how you feel about him. You should go spend some time with him. Have dinner with him, see a movie with him, go the bar together, or just enjoy each other’s company. You deserve happiness James no matter what. Don’t settle. I am going go change before the board meeting that will bore me to death,” Tony laughed before getting up and leaving.

Bucky peeled himself off the floor and headed to his bathroom. He looked into the mirror and noticed that he looked like he hadn’t slept in 2 days. He took a deep breath and then cleaned up his face. Bucky straightened up his clothes before deciding he needed to talk with Steve. He instant messaged Steve and told him he needed him to come to his lab. Steve responded and said he would be there in 5 minutes.

Steve strolled into Bucky’s lab and he looked so damn good that Bucky internally groaned. He fantasized about Steve holding him down teasing him and then slowly taking Bucky apart until he is begging. Bucky cleared his throat to stop him thoughts.

“Hey Buck, you wanted to see me,” Steve spoke as he took as seat across from Bucky’s desk.

“Hey Steve, I wanted to talk to you about a few things,” Bucky stated as he sat down. Steve crossed his legs.

“What did you want to talk about,” Steve asked?

Bucky leaned forward on his desk for support, “I thought we could go to get some food at some point and hang out like we used too. I told you yesterday I wanted to be friends again. I missed you in my life Steve. You were my best friend. The person who knew me better than I knew myself.”

Steve smiled, “You know I would never say no to you. I missed hanging with you too. I don’t have many friends Bucky. After my mom died I pretty much stuck to myself and didn’t socialize much.” Bucky nodded.

“After my accident I tended to avoid people rather than socialize Stevie. I get it. I don’t have many if at all any friends since the accident,” Bucky mumbled looking at his hands.

Steve leaned forward in the chair and placed his hands-on Bucky’s, “It’s okay Buck. You don’t have to worry you got me back. We can spend as much time together as we want. I really did miss talking with you. I thought about it a lot last night after we talked. It brought back so many memories. Good memories we had together.” Bucky softly smiled when Sharon walked in unannounced. They both separated quickly as she approached Steve.

“Sharon, what do you need,” Steve asked.

“Steve I was trying to find you so we can talk about our date tonight. Did you want to go to the sushi place or the Thai place that you like,” Sharon asked. Steve blushed because he didn’t think Sharon was going to just show up, he wasn’t dating her but he wanted to take her on a second date to see if they could date. Bucky tried his hardest to not cry again. Bucky felt crushed, he thought Steve may have been into him as well.

“Shar, lets do sushi okay,” Steve responded. “Also, I am in the middle a conversation with my friend I just connected with again after years so please do not interrupt again.” Sharon nodded as she clacked her heels on the floor walking out of Bucky’s lab swaying her hips.

“I thought you were single,” Bucky questioned?

“We aren’t dating. I am taking her on a second date to see if it could lead to Sharon and I dating. I can tell you though she is fucking amazing in bed. She knows how to make a man cum hard,” Steve laughs still blushing. Bucky clenched his jaw trying to breathe and not get angry. “When do you want to hang out Buck?”

“How does this Friday sound,” Bucky retorted trying to avoid being snippy.

“Friday sounds perfect. We can hit a restaurant then a bar enjoys the night. Let see where it leads right,” Steve started to get up.

“Yes, Seize the day Stevie. Let’s live it up. We are still young and I am single even if you aren’t,” Bucky responded.

“You’ll find someone Buck to make you happy. You deserve it. I am glad we found each other. You are my best friend and always will be. I can tell you anything,” Steve started to head out of Bucky’s lab. “I have a date to get ready for.”

“Have a good night Steve,” Bucky waved him off.

 

                                                           

 

Steve’s POV

 

He headed back to his office to grab his suit jacket and briefcase. He was happy to have his best friend back in his life. He was upset that Sharon decided to interrupt them about their stupid date. Steve just wanted to get laid. Sharon was a hole for him to fuck. The date was to make sure he could maybe keep up the booty call. He was lonely and didn’t date people really. He had only loved one person. That person would never know.

Steve was headed home to get ready for the restaurant. He showered and trimmed his pubes. He placed a small plug long enough to hit his prostate every time he thrusted when he was going to be fucking Sharon after this “date”. It was usually the only way he came anymore. He needed to have his ass filled and prostate hit as his cock was getting stimulated too. Steve look at himself in the mirror and sprayed on some cologne before heading out.

He met Sharon at his favorite sushi place. They had a good dinner. Steve didn’t remember what they talked about because he was thinking about someone else. The only person he has ever loved was back in his life.

“Steve, are you even listening to me,” Sharon squawked.

“Yeah, sorry I drifted Sharon. I was thinking about how good that dress would look on my floor,” Steve whispered into her ear as he nipped at her earlobe. Sharon shivered. “You ready to go an have some fun sweetheart?”

Sharon clenched her legs together, “Let’s go Steve. Show me how much you like this dress.”

They got into a cab Sharon had hailed. Steve grabbed her face and kissed her hard sucking on her bottom lip. Sharon whimpered into his mouth. The cab driver was getting angry because he thought they were going to fuck in his back seat. Once they got back to Steve’s apartment, he pulled Sharon out of the cab and took her to his bedroom.

The minute they entered his bedroom he became more aggressive with her sexually and tugged her dress off roughly.

“God, I want to fuck you so hard right now,” Steve growled. Sharon whined and pressed into him harder as she kissed and bite at his neck. Steve pushed her back on the bed and she bounced. He crawled over her kissing her passionately and rough. He unhooked her bra and threw it over his shoulder. Then latched his mouth around her pert erect nipple. Sharon screamed when Steve bit her nipple.

Steve smiled leaning down to whisper in her ear, “I want you on your hands and knees. I want to fuck you from behind.”

“Fuck Steve, you have me so damn wet and you haven’t even gotten to my pussy,” Sharon moaned out turning over to get on her hands and knees. Steve grabbed her panties forcefully and tore them off. Sharon bucked as she came from the force of Steve tearing off her panties. Steve watched her pussy clench around nothing as her slick coated and slid down her thighs some. He grabbed a condom and put in on lickety split before pushing in full force not allowing her to accommodate to his size. Sharon was so loud screaming life gripping the sheets.

“Steve, Oh God Fuck. You feel so damn big,” Sharon whined as she pushed her ass back on his hips. Steve tightened his grip around her hips as he set the brutal pace of pounding into her relentlessly. He bent over her slid one hand from her hip to her hair pulling her into him fucking into her hard. Steve was panting and groaning he could feel his orgasm building at the base of his cock as his balls started to pull in tight.

“I’m going to cum,” Steve groaned out. Sharon started to swivel her hips even more. He could feel her getting close too. Steve grabbed her throat and gently squeezed. Sharon came hard on his cock. Steve kept thrusting into her as his hips kept the brutal pace as she was coming down from her high. Steve felt his cock throb right before he came. “Ahhhhh, Bucky, fuck,” Steve moaned as he came harder than he ever had. Once he was finished cumming Sharon pushed away from him.

“You got to be fucking kidding me Steven. You were thinking about James Barnes the entire time you were fucking me. Is that who you were thinking about at dinner. You know what fuck this shit. I am so done with you. You are fucking pathetic. You decided to fuck me instead of telling him how you feel. I hate being used. I feel disgusting. You fucking used me Steven. You used me,” Sharon screamed as she slapped Steve across the face.

Steve yelled back, “You’re one to talk Sharon. You used me too. You wanted a relationship to show your family that you are not married to your work. Also, you wanted my money. I get it. We both used each other. You are not innocent either missy. So, don’t you fucking play that innocent shit with me you devious bitch. Yes I have feelings for Bucky. I was read to tell him when you barged in tonight talk about the fucking date.” Steve grabbed his briefs and put them on. “Get dressed and get the fuck out. I don’t want you here.”

“I don’t want to be here Steve. You deserve to be happy. I know you aren’t happy. I should have known from the way you made eyes are James today. I am going to ask Tony to relocate to England so I can stay with my family. I don’t think I could look at you again,” Sharon spoke plainly. Sharon threw on her dress and grabbed her shoes and left. She slammed Steve’s door.

 

Steve sunk down to the floor of his bedroom and put his head in his hands. He always loved Bucky. That never changed. He wanted Bucky to be happy and he knew Bucky was a magnet for females. Growing up Bucky was straight Steve doubted that changed. Steve found when he was in high school that he was bisexual and more attracted to Bucky than anyone else. Which is why he never really dated anyone other than Peggy after he stopped talking to Bucky. Steve felt like shit. He was in love with Bucky and has always been. Steve knew as long as Bucky was in his life, he would be happy even if he and Bucky never ended up romantically connected.


	3. CHAPTER 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a breakdown and only Bucky can break him out of it.

Steve had gone to work after his fight with Sharon. When he climaxed, he moaned Bucky’s name, he hadn’t done that before that. He was trying to figure out how Bucky got back into his head that bad. He shook his head. He had 1 day to get his shit together before him and Bucky went out for dinner.  Steve was in deep trouble. He wanted to be with Bucky in a way that he knew Bucky didn’t want to be with him. Steve had saw himself grow old with Bucky while they told stories to their grandkids on how they met. Steve shook his head. He needed to figure this out before it got any worse. He was pining for his best friend since childhood.

Sitting in his office Steve was trying to keep himself busy with work when Natasha walked in. “Hello Nat,” Steve robotically stated.

“Oh, Steven you wound me,” Nat laughed. “Why are you sulking? I thought you were going out with Sharon. Did that not work out since you found out Barnes is working in Engineering specialty in prosthetics for kids.” Nat sat down on Steve’s desk.

“You don’t know what you are talking about Natalia,” Steve spat.

“First, no one has called me Natalia in a long time. It’s either Nat, Tasha or Natasha. Second, I am guessing you had some sort of revelation while having sex with Sharon blurted it out and fought. Now your sulking because you think that the only way you can be with your man is as his best friend for life,” Nat rolled her eyes swinging her legs while she spoke. “Steve you need to stop and smell the roses. He likes you like that too. I swear you are so blind.” Nat grabbed my chin and forced me to look in her eyes. “Steven Rogers you are a moron. I love you but you are. Barnes is infatuated with you too. Tony has been talking about it nonstop since he found out you both knew each other. Once he saw in the security footage how you and Barnes reacted with each other he has been plotting to make sure you both know that the other is in love with you. I don’t know how you survived life this long if you can’t tell when someone is all heart eyes at you Steve. BARNES HAS HEART EYES FOR YOU ROGERS. HE LOOKS AT YOU WITH THOSE DAMN HEART EYES. HEART EYES STEVE, HEART EYES. Do you get it?”

 

Steve nodded as Nat let go of his face. “I need to talk with him, I guess. I need to explain to him what I feel. I don’t know Nat he makes feel like I am that little kid he knew when he left. I don’t feel like an adult when he is around. I feel like a fucking school boy that is a puppy for him. I will follow him to the ends of the world. I fucked up when I stopped writing him after my mom died. I needed to just get my shit together. I didn’t want to bring his sunshine into my rainstorm. I didn’t think it would make a rainbow. I thought my rainstorm would corrupt his sunshine and make him dark and hate me. So, I cut him out.” Steve placed his hands on his face. He began to sob. Nat got up and patted him on the back.

Nat leaned into to him resting her head on his shoulder leaving her mouth by Steve’s ear whispering, “You need to let James know how you feel. You need to explain to him why you stopped writing to him when you mom died. You need to get yourself in a good headspace. Talk to Tony about what therapists he has on staff we can work with Steve.” Steve nodded as he sobbed. Natasha just wrapped your arms around him and hugged. Steve knew he needed to get his head straight before trying to get into a relationship with Bucky. Relationship with Bucky what was he thinking he was just happy to have Bucky back in his life. He didn’t realize how much it hurt him not to have him in it. Steve was mentally kicking himself for having stopped his letters with Bucky. Steve blames himself for Bucky having lost a limb. Steve couldn’t cope with the internal pain anymore. He needed to feel the pain on his body. He knew Nat was still hugging him but he didn’t care right now. Steve started to slap his face as he was crying. He felt the dam break. It felt good after all these years. Steve balled up his hands which caused him to punch himself in the head.

Nat was scared Steve was going to hurt himself. She grabbed him arms and he growled at her. Steve them pushed her as hard has he could and Nat flew across the room hitting her head and back against the table across the room. Nat scrambled to her feet and headed to get James. She knew that James was going to be the only one to get Steve to stop.

 

                                                                           Bucky’s POV

Nat came running into his lab in a bat out of hell manner. Bucky was confused since she was never this manic. “Tash are you okay,” Bucky asked.

Nat looked at Bucky and took a deep breath, “James, it’s Steve. He is…. Having some sort of break down. He is really self-destructive right now. I don’t know what else to do. I tried…. I tried…” Nat collapsed to the ground on her knees. Bucky got up fast and ran over to Nat.

Crouching down to her level, “Tash are you going to be okay?”

Nat looked up at Bucky, “James you need to help Steve. Go Help Steve, I will be okay.”

Bucky nodded and sprinted out of his lab and got into the elevator to get to Steve’s floor. When the elevator stopped, he ran to Steve’s office. The door was wide open and Bucky stopped his in tracks in the doorway as he watched Steve punch himself in the head. Bucky gasped. He didn’t think Steve was carrying this much pain around with him. He slowly walked over to Steve and wrapped himself around him.

“Stevie, you’re okay. I am here now. Whatever has you this hurt we will get through it, baby. You are a strong man but it’s okay to be vulnerable too,” Bucky was whispering into Steve’s ear. Steve seemed to relax into him. Steve had stopped hitting himself. Bucky had noticed that he split open his lip and his eyebrow was bleeding but Bucky didn’t want to let go. Bucky tightened his arms around Steve and kissed the back of his neck. Bucky didn’t care if Steve was going to be pissed at him. He needed to let him know how he felt because he couldn’t see Steve keep hurting himself.

Steve leaned his head back against Bucky’s shoulder and quietly, “Buck, I am so sorry” Steve closed his eyes still not being able to look at Bucky.

“What are you sorry for Stevie?” Buck shifted so he could see Steve’s face better.

Eyes still closed, “I am sorry I stopped writing to you. I know it hurt you just as much as it hurt me. If you don’t want to talk to me again, I can completely understand. I am not someone you need to be around. I am not good enough for you. I don’t think I was ever good enough for you. That was one of the reasons I stopped writing. I knew I couldn’t have you. I knew you weren’t mine.” Steve blinked but kept his eyes shut as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Bucky was shocked but what his Stevie had just said. When did he think about him as his Stevie? He would have to come back to that once Steve was taken care of. “I was always yours, punk. I never wanted anyone else. I always tried to take us on double dates so I didn’t get beat by my dad for being gay.” Bucky rested his cheek against Steve’s head. “Remember when your mom had to work doubles and I would spend the weekend. Sometimes we would turn on the radio and even though you hated dancing you still danced with me. I used your house as an escape from the shit my dad would beat me for. You don’t know how many nights I thought about you.” Bucky blushed as he continued to reminiscence. “While I was masturbating, I saw your face. I fantasied about what you would do to me and how my reactions would spur you on. I wanted you from the time I knew what sex was and when I was going out with the girls at school it was a cover. I never actually slept with any of them. I tried a few times and couldn’t. They knew I only wanted you. My Stevie, my artist, my punk.”

Steve stiffened and opened his eyes looking at Bucky. “You don’t mean that, Buck. You could have had anyone why chose me?” Steve was baffled.

Bucky turned Steve so that he could look straight into his eyes. “You were strong, independent and didn’t let anyone take advantage of you. I admired that. I also fell in love with those qualities first. Steve, I chose you because you made my heart flutter, my stomach knots up and I smiled like a fool when I knew I was going to be able to spend time with you. You got me when no one else did. You knew I was more than my book smarts. You treasured the person I was. You didn’t care about my sexual preference. You stuck up for me and I finished your fights for you. You made me feel complete Stevie. You made me feel whole. Even with missing my arm when I am with you, I still feel whole. No matter what you do Stevie, you don’t have to do it alone. I am with you until the end of the line, pal.” Bucky gently placed his hand on the back of Steve’s neck pulling him in for a kiss. Once their lips touched Steve whimpered. Bucky pulled Steve in closer with his left arm. The kiss turned from sweet and soft to passionate and heated. When they finally managed to break away from each other they both were gasping.

“You’re my Buck, my smart bookworm, my jerk,” Steve smiled. “Jarvis can you shut my office door and enter privacy mode.”

“Certainly, Mister Rogers. Privacy mode as been entered. No one will bother you unless it is an emergency. Sir will not find out about what goes on in this room,” Jarvis explained.

Steve smiled and grabbed Bucky’s shirt pulling him in closer. Once Bucky was close enough Steve straddled his hips and grinded down. Bucky moaned bucking his hips into Steve’s.

“Stevie, what are you doing,” Bucky asked shakily.

“Doing what we both need Buck. I need to feel you,” Steve replied needy. Steve connected their lips again and pushed his tongue into Bucky’s mouth. Steve let Bucky take the lead after that. Bucky started to unbutton Steve’s shirt as he kissed and nipped at his jaw down his neck and then finally sucking a bruise onto his clavicle. Steve brought one hand to grip into Bucky’s hair and the other rested on Bucky’s arm. Bucky smiled against Steve’s skin. He had wanted his this for so long now he has it he was going to make it feel amazing for Steve.

Steve’s shirt was off in moments and Bucky licked his nipple. Steve jolted and Bucky the bite as he sucked on Steve’s nipple hard. Steve arched into Bucky and whimpered. Bucky kissed his way down Steve’s stomach to his pants. Bucky teased Steve by palming him through his slacks. Steve was already hard and leaking.

“Get on with it, Jerk.” Steve demanded. Bucky laughed and yanked the slacks off of Steve. Once Steve’s cock was out and it bounced to hit his stomach Bucky licked his lips and laid Steve down on the floor. Bucky swallowed Steve down to the hilt. “Ahh, Fuck Bucky!” Steve pulled on Bucky’s hair. Bucky sucked harder teasing Steve’s head with his tongue. “Bucky, don’t stop. It feels so good.” Steve was a mess moaning for Bucky. Bucky could tell he was getting close. That is when he changed what he was doing and focused strictly on the tip. He flicked his tongue of the slit. Steve thrusted deep into Bucky’s mouth and came down his throat without warning. Bucky continued to suck on Steve’s gorgeous cock until it was too sensitive. “Buck, oh god that was. You still need to be taken care of.” Steve stated since he was always looking out for others.

“Its okay Stevie, I can take care of this later,” Bucky replied.

“No, I want you to cum on me.” Steve smirked. Bucky sighed and straddled Steve’s hips. He pulled himself out of his pants and began to stroke his hard cock. His head was an angry red and he was hard enough to cut glass. He watched Steve’s face as he began to play with his head. Steve reached out his hand and followed the same motions Bucky was doing. He made Bucky remove his own hand and Steve jerked him off in earnest. Bucky felt his balls tighten and draw up.

“Fuck, Stevie. I am gonna cum for you. Don’t stop,” Bucky moaned thrusting his hips into Steve’s hand. Before long Bucky was shooting long white streaks across Steve’s stomach and chest. One landing in Steve’s mouth. As he was coming down from an amazing orgasm. Steve took his fingers and scoped up Bucky’s cum and ate it. Fuck that was hot Bucky thought. “I love you Stevie,” Bucky said sleepily while he curled into Steve on the floor.

Steve smiled closing his eyes whispering, “I love you too Buck.”


	4. CHAPTER 4

Steve woke first. He groaned as he stretched. His back was stiff and he didn’t remember where he was. He felt cold hard floor beneath him. That is when Bucky’s hands pulled him in closer and he could feel Bucky’s breath on the back on his neck. Steve shivered as he looked down. He was trying to remember when he had gotten naked. He looked around and realized they were in his office. Steve slowly started to remember having a melt down because of everything ion his life going wrong. Nat was with him and then Bucky showed up. He must have done something bad because Nat had to get Bucky.

Steve wiggled against Bucky a little as he tried to piece together what happened from him episode. Steve remembered hitting himself. As he licked his lips, he winced at the pain that was when he realized he had split his lip. Bucky was starting to stir.

“Mm, Stevie how are you feeling,” Bucky groggily spoke.

“I feel lighter Buck,” Steve turned to face him.

Buck still had his eyes closed, “You don’t have to hold all the pain you have in. I am here for you.”

Steve smiled softly as he tucked a piece of Bucky’s loose hair behind his ear. “I know that now. I didn’t know you felt the same way about me. I also didn’t want to mess up your life. We were so close growing up and you moved away then everything fell to shit. I just tried to hide who I was. I needed to pretend everything was fine when nothing was and didn’t want to be a dark spot in your life so I stopped contacting you. I guess fate brought us back together,” Steve ranted.

“Baby you are okay. I am here now and you will not be alone any more. You are the brightest spot of my life and always have been. When I went through my accident thinking about getting to meet up with you again got me through it. I am so in love with you and have been for a long time. You aren’t getting rid of me ever. I am with you until the end of the line pal,” Bucky rubbed his thumb over Steve’s lower lip.

Steve nuzzled into Bucky’s hand, “I will try to be open about my feelings Buck. I have a tough time communicating. I tend to punch first ask questions later. I have thought nothing about you since you walked back into my life. I can’t get you out of my head. You promise you can’t laugh at me. When I went on the date with Sharon and took her back to my place to have sex. I only came to picturing you bent over in front of me writhing as I fucked you hard. I came so hard I moaned your name and not hers.” Steve blushed and hide his face in Bucky’s neck.

Bucky laughed and wrapped his arms around Steve, “I really got in your head huh? Made you think about pounding me hard and fast.” Bucky bit his lip. “Stevie you make heart flutter and I can’t wait to share some amazing time with you. We should probably get dressed though because we are still at work. I also want to clean the cut on your eyebrow as well.”

Steve winced at what Bucky said. Steve had cut open his face when he slipped into beating himself up. Steve leaned in and slowly slotted his lips with Bucky’s. They kissed like they would be pulled apart which left them breathless and panting. “Buck, I missed you so damn much. Thank you for saving me.” Bucky smiled as he got up and helped Steve up. Once they were dressed, “Jarvis please remove privacy mode.”

Jarvis didn’t say anything but as soon as the blinds opened and cameras came back on Tony was at Steve’s door.

“Rogers are you okay? Nat told me you were not okay. Are you okay,” Tony repeated?

Steve chuckled, “I am okay now Tony. I wasn’t but I am now.”

“Good, because I need the head of my marketing department doing well. Otherwise I am going to force you to take a vacation,” Tony scolded.

“Tony, I needed to get some things off my chest and I did. I will let you know if I need time away,” Steve reassured.

Bucky walked out of the bathroom, “Stevie I am going to head back to my office. Are you going to be good if I do?”

“Buckaroo why are you in Steve’s office when he had privacy mode engaged,” Tony asked. Tony’s eyes went wide. “Nope, I am going to make sure janitorial deep cleans this room. I see you both got your shit together.”

Bucky and Steve laughed. “Yeah we both got out heads out of our asses so to speak. I will be okay Buck,” Steve spoke.

Bucky smiled, “I just want you to be better. Call me if you need anything Stevie.”  Bucky leaned in and kissed his softly before heading back to his office.

Tony scowled, “Don’t have sex in my building again please.” Tony turned and walked out of Steve’s office.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of the series.


End file.
